Christmas

I know that I don't have to post on this blog anymore, as my Written Communication class is over, but I thought that it would be a great place to write out some of my thoughts.  This Christmas was quite different, it was the first year that I was not with any of my children.  I miss them very much and I hope I get to see them soon.  But I did get to spend time with my brothers family, which was very nice.  Then I got to spend time with my dads family.  Maybe next year, I can be with my children and grandchildren.  I will be praying for that.

Nobel Laureate Essay - Toni Morrison

     When I was younger, the gender roles were quite separate.  The male’s job was to earn money, while the women’s job was to stay home and raise the children.  As the years passed, the women have had to go out to work because of necessity.  Whether due to divorce or many other different reasons, women have found themselves having to have a career and care for their families, either with or without a partner.  It takes a very strong woman to effectively juggle work and home by herself.  Those tasks become even more difficult if the woman is not caucasian.   If an African American woman can excel in her career, do an excellent job raising her children by herself, and win the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature; she must have super powers.  Toni Morrison is one such woman. It is due to her devotion to her community, love of family, and her work ethic that Toni Morrison has achieved such great success, including the Nobel Prize.

      Toni Morrison was born Chloe Anthony Wofford on February 18, 1931 in Lorain, Ohio.  She was the second of four children born to George and Ramah (Willis) Wofford.  Her family was not rich by any means.  For most of her life, her father worked 3 jobs. They were a very proud family and her parents instilled hard work and being proud of her heritage:  ”The sense of community that she acquired from her life.  Underlying themes of family and community are present throughout all of her later work.  Her father, a dignified man, impressed a positive self-image on his daughter.”(Morrison para 6)   “ Biographer’s Clenora Hudson and Wilfred Samuels suggest that although Wofford’s father died before she began her third novel, she continues to hold her accomplishments for his approval.  The resonance of such authority resides in all of her books.” (Morrison para 6) She was the only African American student in her first grade class and was also the only student that could already read. She loved to read and graduated with honors from Lorain High School in 1949.  She had many friends of other races and did not face racism until she started dating.  There was some reverse racism in her home.  Her father thought that he was superior to white people.  Her experiences with racism can be felt in many of her novels. (Morrison para 5)

     After she had graduated from high school, she was the first member of her family to attend college.  She attended Howard University with a major in English.  It was while she was at Howard that she changed her name to Toni, as her friends could not pronounce her name correctly.  She received her Bachelor’s Degree from Howard in 1953 and then went on to Cornell University to get her Master’s Degree, which she received in 1955.  She returned to Howard in 1957 as faculty.  It was at Howard that she met Harold Morrison, an architect from Jamaica.  They married in 1958.  She still continued to teach after she married to help support her family.   Her marriage was not a happy one and she looked for outlets to escape.  One of the outlets that she found was a writing group where she hoped to find companionship with people who loved literature as much as she did.  One of the requirements of this group was to bring something that you wrote each week to discuss.  She went to one meeting with a short story about a black girl who wanted to have blue eyes.  This story later became her first novel. (Morrison para10)

     While Ms. Morrison was pregnant with her second child, she finally decided to leave her husband, she divorced, and moved back to Lorain.   Shortly after she arrived in Lorain she accepted a job as an associate editor in the textbook division of Random House, where she stayed until 1971.  Even though Ms. Morrison never intended to write professionally, she just wanted to teach.  According to Ms. Morrison, “She became a writer to support her two children after her marriage broke up.  Writing, she once said, was something she did “secretly, compulsively, slyly”” (Cornwell para7)

      Ms. Morrison’s accomplishments are many, besides being the Nobel Prize for Literature winner in 1993, she has been a member of the American Academy of Arts and Literature since 1981, and she won the 1988 Pulitzer Prize for her book Beloved. Some of her works are: The Bluest Eye (1969), Sula (1973), Song of Solomon (1977), Tar Baby (1981), Beloved (1987), Jazz (1992), Paradise (1998), and Love (2003).  She has also written the following children’s books:  The Big Box (1991), The Book of Mean People (2002). 

     In 1993, Ms. Morrison was the first African American women to receive the Nobel Prize for Literature.  When she was awarded this prize, there was controversy among other authors, they did not believe that she should have won.   According to an article by Steven Moore “Nobel Blacklash raises crucial issues about critical attitudes to black literature.  In launching an attack on the motives of the Nobel Prize Committee for awarding the Prize for Literature to certain black writers in the past few years, he suggests that these writers somehow represent decadent trends away from the proper concerns of black writing.  The implication is that these writers have been singled out because they do not rock the boat of dominant white literary values”. (Moore, para 2)    Moore also states “…but I simply want to say that Morrison’s portrayals of black people are not representative of my community.” (Moore, para 7)   I do not understand the controversy, Ms. Morrison is a great author and I believe that she more than deserved this award.  Another writer, Charles Johnson stated that, “ granting the prize to Toni Morrison is a triumph of political correctness” ( Moore, para 3)   With as small of a community that African American writers are, one would think that they would stand behind and support each other, that is not how it was.  Mr. Moore also states “they will decide whether the granting of the Nobel Prize for Literature to a black women, was recognition of a body of literature neglected far too long, or just an endorsement of a writer who happens to suit the taste of those seeking to maintain cultural and political hegemony”.  ( Moore, para 8). 

     Toni Morrison’s work is based a lot on her life experiences, and there are many.  One of the most heart tearing stories  was “that one day, when she was about 2, her parents fell behind with the $4-a-month rent, so the landlord set fire to the house.  While they were in it.  It was this hysterical, out-of-the-ordinary, bizarre form of evil, she says.  If you internalized it you’d be truly and thoroughly depressed because that’s how much your life meant.  For $4 a month somebody would just burn you to a crisp.  So what you did instead was laugh at him, at the absurdity, at the monumental crudeness of it.  That way you gave back yourself to yourself.  You know what I mean?  You distanced yourself from the implications of the act.  That’s what laughter does.  You take it back.  You take your life back.  You take your integrity back.”(Streitfeld, para 5) 

     It seems that is what she did, she took her integrity back.  In her lecture for the Nobel week, she tells and story that is based around an old woman and what people that went to visit her to gain her wisdom learned.   Ms. Morrison seems to be a very deep person and that shows in her lecture.  Toni is a very private person and according to her lives a very ordinary life.  In an article written by Simon Houpt she states “My life is so ordinary.  I don’t ski and swim and stuff.  But the real world for me, the exciting world for me, the place I don’t have to do anything anybody says – nobody tells me what to do – is in those books.  Everything else I do is for my children, my sister, my students, somebody else’s expectations. In my work, there are only my expectations and I can’t let anybody in, even though I am writing for you, hoping that you come in and help me with this book.  That’s the only way I can do it.  It’s the liberation for me, it’s the freest place I know.  You know, the freedom of the mind.” (Houpt, para 16)   She couldn’t be free in life, so she is free in her writing.

     Ms. Morrison is the ultimate in single mothers.  She has even written with her son Ford, a children’s book.  Even with all the controversy and troubles in her life.  She has prevailed and ended on the top with the best of both worlds.  Ms. Morrison is an excellent role model for all women, not just single mothers.  If she can win the Nobel Prize after all her hard work, anything is possible with a lot of hard work.

Works Cited

Cornwell, Rupert. The Independent (London).  Title Page; Pg. 1

Houpt, Simon. The Globe and Mail (Canada) . Weekend Review; Books: Interview: A Mercy; Pg. R1,. 8 October 1993

New York Times, Late City Final Edition, Section 7; Page 36 24 Jan. 1988

Moore, Steven and Cheryl-Ann Micheal. ”The Guardian Features”  The Guardian (London)  Page: pg.30. 23 Oct. 1993

Moore, Steven. “The Guardian Features” The Guardian (London) Page; Pg. 4. 20 Oct. 1993

Morrison ,Toni (nee Chloe Anthony Wofford)(2000). In African- American Writers: A Dictionary. Retrieved from Credo Reference, Retrieved 16 Nov. 2010

Morrison, Toni. – Nobel Lecture. Nobelprize.org.16 Nov 2010

Streitfeld, David. The Washington Post; Page D1. 8 October  1993

Western Technical College Polices

Yesterday was my day to register for spring classes, I only could get one class that I need.  I am getting so upset with this college.  First of all, I took Chemistry this summer and passed with an A.  According to the computer, I still need to Chemistry.  I took this class at WTC!  If I had not passed Chemistry, I would not be enrolled in A & P.  I have gone into the Enrollment Center 6 times to get this fixed.  It is still not fixed. This is very frustrating!!

Also, the policy that classes are reserved for students in programs is nuts.  Some students have enrolled in a program that does not have a waiting list, just to get into a class that they need for another program.  Then once they are in the class, they drop the program.  Or they get into the class and do not put forth the effort that is needed to pass the class and they fail and have to take the class again.  Which they can do, because they are in a program.  Meanwhile, students that work their butts off can't get into the class because they are not in a program.  But, they can not get into the program, because they need the class. I do not believe any of these classes should be reserved, it should be first come first serve.  I think that people would work harder.  And if they take a class and fail it, they should have to wait to get into the class again.

This is all so frustrating!!  If you are going to put out the money to go to college, at least put forth the effort, or don't take up the spaces that people who really work at the class and want to get through college as soon as they can.  So all you students out there, if you are going to take a class put 100% into it, because someone else would really like that spot.

Some People Shouldn't Have Kids

So, I know the article on this story is really old, but when I was at work this weekend, someone was showing the video of the 2 year old smoking.  I at first thought that this was a joke.  After doing some digging, I found that it was true.  The parents gave this child his first cigarette at the age of 18 months.  What were they thinking?  Now at the ripe old age of 2 years old, he smokes 20 cigarettes a day.  The article states that his parents have offered to buy him a car if he quit smoking.  They should not have ever given her a cigarette to start with.  What would possess a parent to put their child in danger like that?  After reading more into this, I got very upset.  I personally think that people should have to take classes before they can become a parent. 
Their are so many people out their that would make great parents and would do anything to have a child and they can not have one.  Than there idiots like this that have a beautiful child and let him kill himself.
Don't get me wrong, their are some wonderful people out there that do not plan on having a child and they do and they are the greatest parents in the world.  I just think that these parents of this young child should have their child taken away until they go through classes or something.  The parents state that he gets grumpy if they don't give him the cigarettes.  Come on!  Who is the adult?  Let him be grumpy, all children get grumpy if they don't get what they want, but that is part of being a parent.  We are to protect our children.  We don't let them cross the street without holding our hands, we don't let them play with guns.  I just think something should be done.

Thanksgiving

I know that we are supposed to write about something that we read, but I had a whole bunch of thoughts that I wanted to get out. 
When I was a child, I used to love the holidays.  Everyone in our family would get together at my grandparents house.  And I mean everyone, there were no excuses.  We used to have 7 tables, my grandmother even had tables on the porch.  If you didn't show, it was the rath of grandma.  And nobody wanted that.  My Uncles used to joke that if they did not show up she would come and hunt them down.  I think that it is funny that these huge men were afraid of a woman who was 5"2".  I miss those days, my grandmother has been gone for 20 years now and no one from that side of the family gets together anymore. 
Now to get to why I am posting this.  I have 8 brothers and 14 nieces and nephews and 3 grandchildren.  My mother was planning this huge dinner and went and bought a turkey that would feed a small village and how many will we have for dinner on Thursday?  6, yes that is right.  Everybody is going other places or is just making excuses not to come and I am not sure why.   Come on people!  We don't know how much longer dad will be around.  This is the time that we should all be together and thank God for the time that we have him here.  Sometimes I get so frustrated!  I understand that my children have other families now.  I guess that I feel really bad for my mom and my stomach, because I am the one who will have to bring home the left-over turkey.  I will be eating turkey for a month.  Well I hope that everyone has a good holiday and remember what the holiday season is really about.  Spend time with your family!!  Even if it is just an hour, and thank God that you have them here to be with.

Engagement of Prince William

This week for  my blog post, I want to talk about the engagement of Prince William and his longtime girlfriend Kate.  After dating for 8 years, he finally asked her to marry him. I would think that after 8 years of dating, he should know if she is the one.  This story has been all over the news for the past few days and it got me thinking.  I remember when his father and mother got married, it was the wedding of the century and everyone watched the wedding on television and talked about it for weeks.  Will this wedding be on the same scale, in this economy?  I wonder if they will spend the amount of money that Prince Charles and Princess Diana  did on their wedding ceremony. 


I really hope that they so a smaller wedding.  I thought that it was very romantic and sweet that he gave her the same ring that his mother wore.  I wonder how Kate felt about that.  Personally, I would have wanted my own ring.  It is not like he doesn't have the money to pay for one.  Maybe it would have been nice to put the stone in a different setting,  I sort of feel sorry for Kate now and hope that she does not go through all the problems with the press and being in the public eye that Diana did.

Football

As I was reading to do this blog entry, I was appalled by all the football news.  Don't get me wrong, I love football.  But even I am getting sick of hearing about Brett Favre, and now Randy Moss.  I don't really care if the Vikings were dumb enough to take Randy Moss back.  Then after two weeks, they let him go.  And will Brett play or not.  Really now, he is old, and he doesn't need the money, just retire and enjoy being a grandfather.  And now the Packers may let Al Harris go.  maybe they decided that they did not like his hairstyle.  And then on Monday I read that the Cowboys coach was let go.  That was a good decision.  He needed to be replaced.  I know that all this information is supposed to be important.  But, I think it is all over publicized.  There has to be more important things going on in the world than football.  I mean there is still a war going on and the economy is in the toilet.  I just think that the reporters should do one story on a subject and let it go.  They beat it into the ground.  I am sure we have a lot to do with it , because we keep watching and reading.  Maybe if we stopped, so would they.  I am sure that a lot of people will disagree with me, but this is my opinion and because we live in America, I am free to express it.

Dead At 17 Final

      Most people remember their senior year in high school as one of the best years of their life. For me, that was not the case, it was one of the worst years of my life.  September 13, 1985 is a day that I will never forget. It was a typical Sunday night with my family.    I was at home eating dinner, waiting for my boyfriend to call, when the phone rang.  My little brother and I ran to answer it, but he beat me to the phone.  I heard him saying “yes”, “yes”, “yes”.  He looked at me really strange and said it was for me.  I went to the phone and said “Hello”.  The voice on the other end said, “ Is this Denise?”   I said yes, then she said  “Is this Denise Stowell?”   “Yes”, I repeated.  She then asked if I was the Denise Stowell  who attended the SCVC.  I again said “yes” and asked “ who this is”.   She then asked if I was the Denise who was dating Mike Donahue?  By that time, I was very irritated, and I said “yes, but if you do not tell me who this is, I am hanging up”.  The person on the other end, then explained that her name was Jennifer and she had some bad news for me.  She explained that she was the Jenny that also attended the SCVC and there was a  terrible accident last night. I then remembered that Jenny was one of Mike’s neighbors.  She asked me if Mike had come over to Reedsburg ?  I said yes, we had gone to a friend’s party and then he left to drive home.  Jenny explained that on the way home, Mike had crossed the center line, 7 miles from his house, and had hit another car head on.  He was killed instantly and the family of 3 in the other car were all dead too.  I remember screaming into the phone  “You Liar!  You are lying!” as I sank to the floor sobbing.     My mother took the phone from me and was asking Jenny questions before she hung up the phone, and started making other calls.  While she was making phone calls to check on the information, my little brother was on the floor with me, trying to stop me from crying, but it wasn’t working very well.   After what seemed like hours my mother sat on the floor with me.  She put her arm around my shoulder and said “Honey, I just got off the phone with the sheriff’s department and Jenny was not lying,  Mike died last night.  His truck crossed the center line and he hit a car, everyone involved was killed.”  Hearing those words, I thought my heart was going to stop, it took my breath away, at that time, I wanted to die.  I don’t remember much of what happened that night except what other people have told me.  But I am getting ahead of myself, I think that I should start from the beginning.

     The high school that I went to was very small, and the neighboring towns were also very small. Just prior to my junior year, the 3 small neighboring schools, Baraboo, Portage, and Sauk Prairie combined with Reedsburg, my school, to form what they called the South Central Vocational Center.  The center was in Baraboo, and they offered marketing, which I was very interested in.  So we were bussed to Baraboo 2 days a week, for a 4 hour class.  It was in that class that I met Mike. We started to talk to each other on the very first day, even though our friends advised us against it.  We started to date exclusively about a month after the class started.  And I thought he was” the one”.  We were together as much as possible.  I stayed at his house quite often, in his sister’s room.  He was also at my house, so much that my mother was threatening to charge him rent.  We did have a few problems though, a lot of his friends did not like me and they were constantly trying to break us up. You see Reedsburg and Portage were rivals and had been for many years. As a general rule we didn’t mix.  So, the fact that Mike and I were dating, was very upsetting to a lot of people.   They thought he should still be with his old girl friend, or someone from Portage, not someone from Reedsburg. 

     The beginning of our senior year was very exciting, we were both very excited about being seniors.  We talked about where we were going to go to college and how we would live very close.  The second week of school there was a big party planned at a lake close to Reedsburg.  All of my friends were going.  I was excited that Mike and I were going. You see, my friends loved Mike.  They were not as into the rivalry the way that Mike’s friends were.  Friday night arrived and Mike came over for dinner with my family.  We had a great time, picking on my younger brother and just talking with my parents.   After the lecture from my parents, which I had heard many times before:” No drinking… no smoking… blah, blah, blah”.  We headed out to the lake.  I wish I would have listened to my parents that night, but like most teenagers, I didn’t.   We had a great time that night, hanging out, swimming and drinking with friends.  Mike drove me home, but neither one of us were really in any condition to drive.   As he was dropping me off, I tried to convince him to stay at my house, he was sure that his truck would find the way home.  I continued to beg and plead for him to stay, but he was very stubborn and would not listen to me.  I got out of the truck, slammed the door and ran into the house.  Mike yelled out the window “I love you and will call you tomorrow night!”  I was very upset that he would not stay.   I went into the house and up to my room and cried myself to sleep.  How could I have known that those would be the last words I would hear from him?

     Driving to Mike’s wake in Portage with my mom and my best friend was one of the longest drives of my life.  I was remembering the fight we had about him driving home, if only he had listened to me.  I kept thinking  ”how could  this have happened”?  We were supposed to leave for college in a few months.  I know now that the ride was longer than usual because mom did not want to take me on the road that Mike had died on.

       As we turned on the street where the funeral home was located, I was amazed.  The line to get into the wake was almost a mile long.  I had never seen that many people in one place before.   We were waiting in the line, because we were not quite sure where to go.  I should have known that I was more than just one of mourners; that became very evident, when Mike’s best friend, Mark, came and took my hand and led me to the front of the line.  As I walked into the sanctuary, and I saw Mike’s family, I knew I was in the right place.  His mom saw me and pulled me into her arms.  We cried and cried.  She held my hand and led me up to the casket.  Seeing Mike in the casket, dead, I lost all control.  I didn’t understand how something like that could happen. He was only 17, he had so many plans, we, had so many plans.  How could God let that happen?  We only had a few drinks.  How could this happen? As we were walking out of the funeral home, Mike’s ex girlfriend came up to me and started screaming at me “Mike is dead because of you!  How dare you even show your face here?”  I was so hurt. I now realize that she was hurting just as much as I was. My mom and my best friend stepped between us and guided me toward the car.  As we drove back to Reedsburg, I was sobbing, I didn’t understand how this could have happened. 

     The next morning, we got up early and drove to Portage again.  The whole way, I was thinking,  the funeral is today.  After today, Mike will be gone forever.  But wait, Mike has been gone for days now.  He will forever be in my heart.  The funeral procession was over 5 miles long.   I think every person within 50 miles was at that funeral.  It was one of the worst days of my life.

     The other car involved had held a mom, a dad and an 8 month old baby girl.  The mom and dad were killed instantly and the baby died the next day.  That night we drank and Mike drove, four very special people died.  None of them should have.  If only we hadn’t been drinking.  If only Mike hadn’t driven, they would all be alive.

     After many months of sulking and hiding in my room.  My best friend, Joyce came over and finally pulled me out of it.  I will always remember what she said that day.  She told me that there had to be a reason that Mike died, and I had to figure out what that reason was.  She also told me that I had the power to help save other kids our age.  I wasn’t sure what she meant, but told her that I would think about it.  I did some serious soul searching.  I talked to my parents and Mike’s parents.  After a few months and a lot of research, I decided to start a Chapter of SADD in our high school.  I wanted young adults to know what happens when you drink and drive.  Mikes mom was a big help and supported me 100% .  The principal of my high school was a big help in this process and was a great advocate for the program.  Without  all of the support, I may have not had the courage see the program through.  My principle was so touched about my story, that he  also asked me if I would consider some speaking at area high schools. After talking it over with my parents and Mike’s parents, I decided that I would like to speak to other kids my age.  Mike’s mom said that she wanted to go to the high schools and speak too. She wanted to try to save as many students as I did.  We visited many schools and told our story. It was not an easy task.  It brought out all the emotions that I had tried to hide.  But, I also knew that doing this would help other people not have to go through the hurt and pain that I did.  We spoke at over 20 high schools, and it was very rewarding.  I like to think that Mike was with us through every speaking engagement.  Maybe that was why he died, so no other kids would have to be dead at 17.

The Election

As I was reading through websites and newspapers to find a topic for my blog, I was getting very frustrated.  Almost every article that I found had something to do with the election that is coming up on Tuesday. Don't get me wrong, I understand how important elections are.  I realize that these people represent us.  We are very lucky to be able to  vote and have some say who leads our country.

Why can't they just tell us what their platform is and let it stand at that.  Do they have to spend billions of dollars to put down their opponent and to tell us every thing their opponent has done wrong.  Even is some of what they say is not entirely true. Every other commercial on television is an ad for one politician or another. I get very irritated with all the money that is spent on these ads, billboards, phone calls and if I get one more flyer on my car, I think I will blow a gasket.

If the general public is anything like me they have decided who they are going to vote for months ago.  All the ads haven't and won't change my mind.  As a matter of fact when I see all the money that is wasted, it almost makes me not want to vote for any of them.  Most of what they say, they don't do anyway.  I just pick the one who has the same morals and convictions that I do.  And I believe that is what most people do.

Maybe they should take some of the money they spend on these elections and put it toward the deficit, or donate it to people that really need it.  I know that would never happen, but it is a suggestion.

\So, I for one will be very happy when November 2nd is gone.  Then I can watch my shows on television without having to watch political commercials.

Dead At 17 Revision

Most people remember their senior year in high school as one of the best years of their life.  I don’t, it was one of the worst years of my life.  September 13, 1985 is a day that I will never forget. It was a typical Sunday night with my family.    I was at home eating dinner, waiting for my boyfriend to call, when the phone rang.  My little brother and I ran to answer it, but he beat me to the phone.  I heard him saying “yes”, “yes”, “yes”.  He looked at me really strange and said it was for me.  I went to the phone and said “Hello”.  The voice on the other end said, “ Is this Denise?”    I said yes, then she said  “Is this Denise Stowell?”   I said yes.  She then asked if I was the Denise Stowell  who attended the SCVC.  I again said yes and asked who this is.   She then asked if I was the Denise who was dating Mike Donahue?  By that time, I was very irritated, and I said yes, but if you do not tell me who this is, I am hanging up.  The person on the other end, then explained that her name was Jennifer and she had some bad news for me.  She explained that she was the Jenny that also attended the SCVC and there was a  terrible accident last night.  She asked me if Mike had come over to Reedsburg ?  I said yes, we had gone to a friend’s party and then he left to drive home.  Jenny explained that on the way home, Mike had crossed the center line, 7 miles from his house, and had hit another car head on.  He was killed instantly and the family of 3 in the other car were all dead too.  I remember screaming into the phone  “You Liar!  You are lying!” as I sank to the floor sobbing.     My mother took the phone from me and was asking Jenny questions before she hung up the phone, and started making other calls.  While she was making phone calls to check on the information, my little brother was on the floor with me, trying to stop me from crying, but it wasn’t working very well.   After what seemed like hours my mother sat on the floor with me.  She put her arm around my shoulder and said “Honey, I just got off the phone with the sheriff’s department and Jenny was not lying,  Mike died last night.  His truck crossed the center line and he hit a car, everyone involved was killed.”  Hearing those words, I thought my heart was going to stop, it took my breath away, at that time, I wanted to die.  I don’t remember much of what happened that night except what other people have told me.  But I am getting ahead of myself, I think that I should start from the beginning.

The high school that I went to was very small, and the neighboring towns were also very small.  My junior year, the 3 small neighboring schools, Baraboo, Portage, and Sauk Prairie combined with Reedsburg, my school, to form what they called the South Central Vocational Center.  The center was in Baraboo, and they offered marketing, which I was very interested in.  So we were bussed to Baraboo 2 days a week, for a 4 hour class.  It was in that class that I met Mike. We started to talk to each other on the very first day, even though our friends advised us against it.  We started to date exclusively about a month after the class started.  And I thought he was” the one”.  We were together as much as possible.  I stayed at his house quite often, in his sister’s room.  He was also at my house, so much that my mother was threatening to charge him rent.  We did have a few problems though, a lot of his friends did not like me and they were constantly trying to break us up. You see Reedsburg and Portage were rivals and had been for many years. As a general rule we didn’t mix.  So, the fact that Mike and I were dating, was very upsetting to a lot of people.   They thought he should still be with his old girl friend, or someone from Portage, not someone from Reedsburg. 

The beginning of our senior year was very exciting, we were both very excited about being seniors.  We talked about where we were going to go to college and how we would live very close.  The second week of school there was a big party planned at a lake close to Reedsburg.  All of my friends were going.  I was excited that Mike and I were going. You see, my friends loved Mike.  They were not as into the rivalry the way that Mike’s friends were.  Friday night arrived and Mike came over for dinner with my family.  We had a great time, picking on my younger brother and just talking with my parents.   After the lecture from my parents, which I had heard many times before:” No drinking… no smoking… blah, blah, blah”.  We headed out to the lake.  I wish I would have listened to my parents that night, but like most teenagers, I didn’t.   We had a great time that night, hanging out, swimming and drinking with friends.  Mike drove me home, and neither one of us were in any condition to drive.   As he was dropping me off, I tried to convince him to stay at my house, he was sure that his truck would find the way home.  I continued to beg and plead for him to stay, but he was very stubborn and would not listen to me.  I got out of the truck, slammed the door and ran into the house.  Mike yelled out the window “I love you and will call you tomorrow night!”   I went into the house and up to my room and cried myself to sleep.   

Driving to Mike’s wake in Portage with my mom and my best friend was one of the longest drives of my life.  I was remembering the fight we had about him driving home, if only he had listened to me.  I kept thinking how could  this have happened.  We were supposed to leave for college in a few months.  I know now that the ride was longer than usual because mom did not want to take me on the road that Mike had died on.

  As we turned on the street where the funeral home was located, I was amazed.  The line to get into the wake was almost a mile long.  I had never seen that many people in one place before.   We were waiting in the line, because we were not quite sure where to go.  I should have known that I was more than just one of mourners.  That became very evident, when Mike’s best friend, Mark, came and took my hand and led me to the front of the line.  As I walked into the sanctuary, and I saw Mike’s family, I knew I was in the right place.  His mom saw me and pulled me into her arms.  We cried and cried.  She held my hand and led me up to the casket.  Seeing Mike in the casket, dead, I lost all control.  I didn’t understand how something like that could happen. He was only 17, he had so many plans, we, had so many plans.  How could God let that happen?  We only had a few drinks.  How could this happen? As we were walking out of the funeral home, Mikes ex girlfriend came up to me and started screaming at me “Mike is dead because of you!  How dare you even show your face here?”  I was so hurt. I now realize that she was hurting just as much as I was. My mom and my best friend stepped between us and guided me toward the car.  As we drove back to Reedsburg, I was sobbing, I didn’t understand how this could have happened. 

The next morning, we got up early and drove to Portage again.  The whole way, I was thinking,  the funeral is today.  After today, Mike will be gone forever.  But wait, Mike has been gone for days now.  He will forever be in my heart.  The funeral procession was over 5 miles long.   I think every person within 50 miles was at that funeral.  It was one of the worst days of my life.

The other car involved had held a mom, a dad and an 8 month old baby girl.  The mom and dad were killed instantly and the baby died the next day.  That night we drank and Mike drove, four very special people died.  None of them should have.  If only we hadn’t been drinking.  If only Mike hadn’t driven, they would all be alive.

After many months of sulking and hiding in my room.  My best friend, Joyce came over and finally pulled me out of it.  I will always remember what she said that day.  She told me that there had to be a reason that Mike died, and I had to figure out what that reason was.  She also told me that I had the power to help save other kids our age.  I wasn’t sure what she meant, but told her that I would think about it.  I did some serious soul searching.  I talked to my parents and Mike’s parents.  After a few months and a lot of research, I decided to start a SADD in our high school.  I wanted young adults to know what happens when you drink and drive.  Mikes mom was a big help and supported me 100% .  The principal of my high school was a big help in this process and was a great advocate for the program.  With out all of the support, I may have not had the courage see the program through.  My principle was so touched about my story, that he  also asked me if I would consider some speaking at area high schools. After talking it over with my parents and Mike’s parents, I decided that I would like to speak to other kids my age.  Mike’s mom said that she wanted to go to the high schools and speak too. She wanted to try to save as many students as I did.  We visited many schools and told our story. It was not an easy task.  It brought out all the emotions that I had tried to hide.  But, I also knew that doing this would help other people not have to go through the hurt and pain that I did.  We spoke at over 20 high schools.  And it was very rewarding.  I like to think that Mike was with us through every speaking engagement.  Maybe that was why he died, so no other kids would have to be dead at 17.

Dead At 17 Rough Draft

Most people remember their senior year in high school as one of the best years of their life.  I don’t, it was one of the worst years of my life.  September 13, 1985 is a day that I will never forget. It was a typical Sunday night with my family.    I was at home eating dinner, waiting for my boyfriend to call, when the phone rang.  My little brother and I ran to answer it, but he beat me to the phone.  I heard him saying “yes”, “yes”, “yes”.  He looked at me really strange and said it was for me.  I went to the phone and said “Hello”.  The voice on the other end said, “ Is this Denise?”    I said yes, then she said  “Is this Denise Stowell?”   I said yes.  She then asked if I was the Denise Stowell  who attended the SCVC.  I again said yes and asked who this is.   She then asked if I was the Denise who was dating Mike Donahue?  By that time, I was very irritated, and I said yes, but if you do not tell me who this is, I am hanging up.  The person on the other end, then explained that her name was Jennifer and she had some bad news for me.  She explained that she was the Jenny that also attended the SCVC and there was a  terrible accident last night.  She asked me if Mike had come over to Reedsburg ?  I said yes, we had gone to a friend’s party and then he left to drive home.  Jenny explained that on the way home, Mike had crossed the center line, 7 miles from his house, and had hit another car head on.  He was killed instantly and the family of 3 in the other car were all dead too.  I remember screaming into the phone  “You Liar!  You are lying!” as I sank to the floor sobbing.     My mother took the phone from me and was asking Jenny questions before she hung up the phone, and started making other calls.  While she was making phone calls to check on the information, my little brother was on the floor with me, trying to stop me from crying, but it wasn’t working very well.   After what seemed like hours my mother sat on the floor with me.  She put her arm around my shoulder and said “Honey, I just got off the phone with the sheriff’s department and Jenny was not lying,  Mike died last night.  His truck crossed the center line and he hit a car, everyone involved was killed.”  Hearing those words, I thought my heart was going to stop, it took my breath away, at that time, I wanted to die.  I don’t remember much of what happened that night except what other people have told me.  But I am getting ahead of myself, I think that I should start from the beginning.

The high school that I went to was very small, and the neighboring towns were also very small.  My junior year, the 3 small neighboring schools, Baraboo, Portage, and Sauk Prairie combined with Reedsburg, my school, to form what they called the South Central Vocational Center.  The center was in Baraboo, and they offered marketing, which I was very interested in.  So we were bussed to Baraboo 2 days a week, for a 4 hour class.  It was in that class that I met Mike. We started to talk to each other on the very first day, even though our friends advised us against it.  We started to date exclusively about a month after the class started.  And I thought he was” the one”.  We were together as much as possible.  I stayed at his house quite often, in his sister’s room.  He was also at my house, so much that my mother was threatening to charge him rent.  We did have a few problems though, a lot of his friends did not like me and they were constantly trying to break us up. You see Reedsburg and Portage were rivals and had been for many years. As a general rule we didn’t mix.  So, the fact that Mike and I were dating, was very upsetting to a lot of people.   They thought he should still be with his old girl friend, or someone from Portage, not someone from Reedsburg. 

The beginning of our senior year was very exciting, we were both very excited about being seniors.  We talked about where we were going to go to college and how we would live very close.  The second week of school there was a big party planned at a lake close to Reedsburg.  All of my friends were going.  I was excited that Mike and I were going. You see, my friends loved Mike.  They were not as into the rivalry the way that Mike’s friends were.  Friday night arrived and Mike came over for dinner with my family.  We had a great time, picking on my younger brother and just talking with my parents.   After the lecture from my parents, which I had heard many times before:” No drinking… no smoking… blah, blah, blah”.  We headed out to the lake.  I wish I would have listened to my parents that night, but like most teenagers, I didn’t.   We had a great time that night, hanging out, swimming and drinking with friends.  Mike drove me home, and neither one of us were in any condition to drive.   As he was dropping me off, I tried to convince him to stay at my house, he was sure that his truck would find the way home.  I continued to beg and plead for him to stay, but he was very stubborn and would not listen to me.  I got out of the truck, slammed the door and ran into the house.  Mike yelled out the window “I love you and will call you tomorrow night!”   I went into the house and up to my room and cried myself to sleep.   

Driving to Mike’s wake in Portage with my mom and my best friend was one of the longest drives of my life.  I was remembering the fight we had about him driving home, if only he had listened to me.  I kept thinking how could  this have happened.  We were supposed to leave for college in a few months.  I know now that the ride was longer than usual because mom did not want to take me on the road that Mike had died on.

  As we turned on the street where the funeral home was located, I was amazed.  The line to get into the wake was almost a mile long.  I had never seen that many people in one place before.   We were waiting in the line, because we were not quite sure where to go.  I should have known that I was more than just one of mourners.  That became very evident, when Mike’s best friend, Mark, came and took my hand and led me to the front of the line.  As I walked into the sanctuary, and I saw Mike’s family, I knew I was in the right place.  His mom saw me and pulled me into her arms.  We cried and cried.  She held my hand and led me up to the casket.  Seeing Mike in the casket, dead, I lost all control.  I didn’t understand how something like that could happen. He was only 17, he had so many plans,” we”, had so many plans.  How could God let that happen?  We only had a few drinks.  How could this happen? As we were walking out of the funeral home, Mikes ex girlfriend came up to me and started screaming at me “Mike is dead because of you!  How dare you even show your face here?”  I was so hurt. I now realize that she was hurting just as much as I was. My mom and my best friend step between us and guide me toward the car.  As we drove back to Reedsburg, I was sobbing and crying.  I didn’t understand how this could have happened. 

The next morning, we got up early and drove to Portage again.  The whole way, I was thinking,  the funeral is today.  After today, Mike will be gone forever.  But wait, Mike has been gone for days now.  He will forever be in my heart.  The funeral procession was over 5 miles long.   I think every person within 50 miles was at that funeral.  It was one of the worst days of my life.

The other car involved had held a mom, a dad and an 8 month old baby girl.  The mom and dad were killed instantly and the baby died the next day.  That night we drank and Mike drove, four very special people died.  None of them should have.  If only we hadn’t been drinking.  If only Mike hadn’t driven, they would all be alive.

After many months of sulking and hiding in my room.  My best friend, Joyce came over and finally pulled me out of it.  I will always remember what she said that day.  She told me that there had to be a reason that Mike died, and I had to figure out what that reason was.  She also told me that I had the power to help save other kids our age.  I wasn’t sure what she meant, but told her that I would think about it.  I did some serious soul searching.  I talked to my parents and Mike’s parents.  After a few months and a lot of research, I decided to start a SADD in our high school.  I wanted young adults to know what happens when you drink and drive.  Mikes mom was a big help and supported me 100% .  My principle of my high school was a big help in this process and was a great advocate for the program.  With out all of the support, I may have not had the courage see the program through.  My principle was so touched about my story, that he  also asked me if I would consider some speaking at area high schools. After talking it over with my parents and Mike’s parents, I decided that I would like to speak to other kids my age.  Mike’s mom said that she wanted to go to the high schools and speak too. She wanted to try to save as many students as I did.  We visited many schools and told our story. It was not an easy task.  It brought out all the emotions, that I had tried to hide.  But, I also knew that doing this would help other people not have to go through the hurt and pain that I did.  We spoke at over 20 high schools.  And it was very rewarding.  I like to think that Mike was with us through every speaking engagement.  Maybe that was why he died, so no other kids would have to be dead at 17.